Stay at Home Mom Crying Baby Hubby Works

Today'due south post is a reader request- my favorite! I am a pretty open book and beloved sharing how we do life and hearing how you practise life in render. Today we're talking husbands that work long hours/travel…

I would honey a post on balancing being a part time working mom, part time SAHM with a husband who has long piece of work hours and travels a ton. I feel burned out by being the sole parent virtually days. Would love your accept on this, any advice as I know your husband has crazy work hours too.

-A

I've decided to tackle this topic on a day I'm feeling bright and optimistic. Don't permit that fool yous into thinking I oasis't had days where I want to scream Information technology'South NOT FAIR at the pinnacle of my lungs. Equally the girls have gotten older (now two 1/ii and 5), those challenging moments have go fewer and farther betwixt, plus I can tell them to go play when I demand some time to regroup, but still, I've been there.

I've had days I feel completely burned out and others where I crave validation. I want to tell David everything I've washed and I want him to react with a genuine "oh my gosh, how do y'all do it all? You single handedly make this family function day to mean solar day, and so seamlessly, and we are forever indebted to you." And then I desire a full spa day to savor in my awesomeness.

Spoiler alert: that has never happened.

But I have learned how to better deal. I never have really considered myself a WAHM considering this web log is something that is such a fun passion for me, merely to keep it going, it does crave my time. I judge I spend near fifteen-20 hours a calendar week on the blog. Peradventure that qualifies me as a part time WAHM and perhaps information technology doesn't only whatsoever my category, I exercise run this space and our household during the week since David works sometimes long and ever unpredictable hours. (And I still experience I have it easy compared to some of my friends who accept husbands that travel for weeks -or months- at a time)

Taking on the majority of home and child intendance during the week took some getting used to, but over the by 5 years I've learned a few tricks that have made my life easier.

• Don't permit resentment overtake you lot. I've learned not to go along score. I remind myself that what he's out doing all day is for the family too. One of the things I love nearly virtually David is his stiff piece of work ethic and bulldoze, then someday I feel like my job is harder, I give myself a quick reality check that we're both working our tails off for the good of our family. Information technology helps me experience more like a team and builds camaraderie.
• Focus on the good stuff. My optimism is about l% nature and 50% nurture. I intentionally focus on the good. I feel really grateful that my hobby turned into a part fourth dimension chore that allows me to contribute financially doing something I beloved. I experience fortunate that I go to be habitation with my kids. Focusing on the perks of my situation (pajama and motion picture afternoons!) helps me amend handle the hiccups (napless afternoons, domicile repairs, technical difficulties online, medico appointments, car repairs, you lot know, life).
• Enlist help. And drop the guilt associated with information technology. We have bi-weekly house cleaners that I love almost as much as my children. Certain I still wipe downwards, sweep (almost everyday because my kids swallow similar rabid wolves), and whatnot, but it saves me the fourth dimension it takes to do a deep clean. Whether information technology's cleaners, meal delivery/food prep short cuts, yard professionals, bodyguard swapping with other moms, etc advisedly selected exterior help tin make a earth of difference.
• Take care of yourself. Information technology took me a while to realize that David actually didn't intendance what I did all day, but he did care if I was happy.  In that location take been phases when I've burnt myself out until I learned that not all solo fourth dimension needs to be productive. I have a wonderful once a week sitter (that I adore). ninety% of that fourth dimension I spend working on things, merely that other 10% allows me to fit in an occasional pedicure or take a long walk. Possibly information technology'south wine and a girly TV show one time the kids are down, or a coffee appointment with a friend once you lot drop your child at preschool, only assuasive yourself to have some truthful "me" time isn't indulgent, it's necessary.

• Create a schedule. I get up between 5:15/5:30 every morning. I don't dear setting an alarm, but it'southward necessary for setting up my days the style I want them. I practise my weekday "piece of work" in the early morning which frees me up to exist "just mom" during the day. I also schedule in reanimation. I deliberately get out several afternoons open. For laundry, for play dates, for baking whatever comes up.
  I've learned to do the work I tin can do with my kids, with them. For me that can exist cooking, cleaning, or organizing. Other things similar editing pictures and writing I have to practice in my morning time hours. I don't do those "solo" tasks while my kids are up because I constitute myself becoming irritable and frustrated when they interrupted (which of course they are going to) and information technology went against everything I want to exist as a mom. Delegating sure tasks at certain times has really helped my sanity.
• Have the kids pitch in. I realize a niggling more each 24-hour interval that my kids can really do things. I told them the other day they needed to make clean the floor around the table then my jaw dropped as I watched Hailey sweep everything into a pile and Kaitlyn dustbuster it up. I constantly am reminding myself that my girls (especially Hailey at v years old) can and should be taking on more dwelling responsibilities.
• Stay in touch with the husband throughout the day/week. David and I have a abiding WhatsApp stream. We ship each other funny things, updates on our days, topics to discuss afterwards, pictures of the kids, etc. It actually helps me to feel connected to him throughout the twenty-four hour period and helps me experience like we're on a squad, tackling this crazy day separately, but together.

• Greet him with a grinning. Accept I thrust the baby at him before as he walked in the door? I'm sure I have- those baby witching hours are no joke, only I really try to non just throw the whining kids at him equally soon as he gets home. I'thou not saying I'm dolled upward and in heels, but a quick smile and hug hello hopefully lets him know I am happy to run across him and am grateful for what he does during the twenty-four hour period for our family unit.
• Have shortcuts. Or long cuts? When I'g solo, especially if it'south for a couple days, I give baths at 3:00 pm before the girls are besides tired to fight it. I make dinner/bath/bed a relaxed, iii hr process. It keeps stress lower for all of us.
• Tell him how yous experience. I know I should not demand validation from my married man, but knowing that has not stopped me from wanting to feel appreciated. When David tells me he is grateful for what I practice, I don't blow it off like it'south nothing. I tell him how much it means to me to hear that. Information technology'due south work I am across happy to practice, but it is work.
  If I'1000 not feeling appreciated or wanting to talk over a alter, I bring it upwards after the girls are down and we're both in a relaxed mode. Timing, I've learned, makes huge divergence.

And to the 8% of men that read here, a few quick ideas to consider:

Buss her farewell in the forenoon, tell her she'south beautiful with that crazy top knot, send her flowers for no reason (specially if yous travel), exit a note nether her pillow, and most importantly, tell her how much you notice and appreciate all that she does. Acknowledgement goes a long way (for both parties).

No affair what your state of affairs is (WAHM, Working Mom, SAHM, or any combo of the above), you are working hard. We're all total time moms and ish isn't always a cakewalk.

Do you have a keen tip for how to handle information technology when your husband works long hours or travels?

Military machine wives (thank you and your family unit so much for your sacrifices), I have and so much respect for what you do. I'll bet y'all have some actually wonderful tips, so please share them!

Brittany Dixon is a former health motorcoach turned homeschooling mom of two girls. Her goal is to share her passion for healthy eating and natural living alongside the daily challenges and triumphs of motherhood. She shares her life through the lens of food, family, and travel.

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